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So there's, like, this:
Forget the last sentence and focus on the meat of that tweet. It's as if the Giants finally realized what the universe has been trying to tell them the past five years: Don't even bother trying. It won't go as planned, everyone's going to laugh at you, and you'll win a World Series every other year.

Universe: Ever seen Spinal Tap, Brian?

Brian Sabean: That fancy brewpub up the street, right? So what?

Universe: The drummer, Brian. Remember the drummer.


Just when you think the Giants have left field figured out, because Melky Cabrera is leading the league in line drives and is the All-Star MVP -- shazam -- spontaneous combustion, PED use, fake Web site, and it's adios Melkmen. This year, Mike Morse went down in a heap of defensive galumphery and oblique strain. And in 2010, the grand plan was Mark DeRosa. Yep.

But then, the temporary, scoffed-at, scrap-heapy solution is as inversely spectacular: Gregor Blanco's defense, Travis Ishikawa's key hits, Pat Burrell's manly ways. Each time the Giants have won a World Series, they've basically found a left fielder by playing pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.

So why the hell not. We have limitless faith in Bruce Bochy when it comes to getting the most from his bullpen, let's do the same with left field. May I suggest:

Travis Ishikawa starts against righties when the Giants have a ground-ball pitcher on the mound (Tim Hudson); Gregor Blanco starts when there's a fly-ball pitcher on the mound (Matt Cain, Madison Bumgarner); and Juan Perez hits against Wade Davis.

I'm looking forward to Juan Perez learning to hit to complement that cannon arm; Travis Ishikawa tapping into his power potential, as many players do in their early 30s; and Gregor Blanco finally making the bunt and slappy ground ball a regular part of his offense. It's all going to happen.

I'm also looking forward to John Bowker getting his chance in June.
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Let's take a Hot Stove break and revisit Madison Bumgarner's October. I decided to let it all settle in for a few weeks, like that all-day meal you once had at your cousin's Greek wedding, before writing. Now's the time,...
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Pablo Sandoval Is An Ex-Giant

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Nothing official as I post this, but let's just assume all these professional baseball writers are hearing the right information: Pablo Sandoval is going to be a Red Sox. Sock. Stocking. So Big. So Red. We all haz a sad,...
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Your browser does not support iframes. This was the best defensive play the Giants made in 2014, and not just because it likely saved a run or more in the seventh game of the World Series. And not just because...
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Congratulations, Giants. Congratulations, us. For all of you fans who were there in mid-July  and kept showing up when things, frankly, sucked. For all of the coaches and trainers and everyone who got Mike Morse -- The New Guy! --...
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Let's get this on the record right away: Jake Peavy pitched well tonight. Walk with me on this. In the first inning, he nibbled against Lorenzo Cain with two outs and walked him. After a Hosmer single, Peavy threw a...
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As Grant duly noted yesterday, "Game 6 of the World Series" has some chilly connotations for Giants' fans. I remember sitting in my apartment, surrounded by friends, none of whom were on the same level of fandom as I. By...
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I'm back after a non-blogging weekend. I'd like to start with two points of important order: Thank you to the San Francisco Giants, whom we won't see in person again until next spring. Whatever the outcome of the game, or...
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Now we have a Series. I might have actually rubbed my hands and giggled like a mad scientist, or at least a mad scientist living vicariously, when both starters came out and it became a bullpen game. This, I thought,...
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Madison Bumgarner won his first World Series game four years ago on Halloween. Tonight he pulled another ghoulish trick: He used his 93-MPH death ray to suck the soul from James Shields and usurp his nickname. Not that Bumgarner needs...
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We're All Here Together

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Why, hello, my San Francisco Giants. You're still here. So are we. How nice!We didn't expect you here. Angel Pagan is not here. Marco Scutaro...nope. Matt Cain isn't here... well, not on the field at least. (photo credit: Beck Diefenbach/Chronicle)Tim...
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So many names from the past five years bring tears to my eyes when I think of them doing things no one expected them to do in October. Andres Torres. Santiago Casilla. Ryan Vogelsong. And now, Travis Ishikawa. People who...
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You won't find any errors on the Giants' side of tonight's box score, but they made plenty of mistakes. Four of them in particular: Every home run the Cardinals hit tonight was a bad pitch.And it really shouldn't have mattered....
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