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It's the second half, and to celebrate I wrote a... a... what's it called?

A post! I wrote a post! It's been a while. Then it was a while before that, and so on.

No, I haven't semi-retired. I've got a new job that's kicking my ass in a beautiful way, and two small kids who are just plain kicking my ass. Post-game midnight blogging isn't in the cards anymore. I'll still do the occasional Pulitzer-Prize winning analysis of a fifth outfielder, but I don't expect the old Lefty four-or-five-days-a-week Malo of yesteryear back soon.

That said, I do get the occasional wild hair up my nose, as Mike Krukow likes to say. That's when I close the bathroom door and reach for those cute little scissors.

I also get the odd random idea, like this one:

About two and a half years from now, Brian Sabean will celebrate his 20th anniversary as the Giants general manager. It will also be the 20th anniversary of his legendary phrase, "I am not an idiot." (Or, as transcribed by the Chron's David Bush, "Well, I'm not an idiot.")

For those of you who don't know it, Sabean's first major action on the job was to trade Matt Williams---the beloved, home-run-hittin', Babe-Ruth-imitatin' All-Star third baseman---for an assortment of Cleveland Indians. One of those Indians turned into a Hall of Fame second baseman. Another one turned into a solid shortstop, then later a ridiculous first baseman. Another one was not a handsome man, but he soaked up a lot of bullpen innings. Sabean was right. He was not an idiot, although that theme was often revisited by people like me in the years 2005-2009.

In honor of Sabean's 17.5th anniversary with the Giants, and a propos of nothing except an attempt to exorcise one of the shittiest months of baseball from our collective memories, I present you a history of the Giants under his tenure. Each year presented in five words, as succinctly as Sabean himself once pleaded his case to a mutinous fan base.

1997: Barry spins. Brian Johnson rocks.
1998: Neifi versus Nen: No contest.
1999: Bye 'Stick. No more bleacherscrums.
2000: They started four and eleven.
2001: Barry #71... in black jersey?!?
2002: Season cancelled before World Series.
2003: 100 wins? No way, Jose.
2004: Jim Brower's arm fell off.
2005: Cain versus Helton: A contest.
2006: Shhh, just let Felipe sleep.
2007: Don't ask me. Ask Barry.
2008: Timmy wins the Cy Young.
2009: Timmy Wins the Cy Young.
2010: Giants win the World Series.
2011: The Buster Rule began here.
2012: Pablo swings. Verlander says "Wow."
2013: Inside the park ouch ouch.
2014:

Go ahead. Fill it in.


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Header photo courtesy of Flickr user eviltomthai under a Creative Commons license.