When the Giants Come to Town, It's Bye-Bye Baby

07.10.2007
All-Star Game Predictions

* A ferocious blast of fog sweeps Bud Selig’s toupee into McCovey Cove.

* Willie Mays is not only honored before the game, he leads off the game with what would be a clean single to center if it weren’t trapped in Danny Haren’s beard. Haren throws his hands in the air to signal the ball is lost.

* Tony LaRussa uses five relievers in one inning and is booed off the field.

* Russell Martin is caught by Fox cameras picking his nose in the dugout.

* And eating the booger.

* Arguing who deserves the moniker “America’s Announcer,” Joe Buck and Tim McCarver get into a slap fight in the booth between innings. Kruk and Kuip take over; national audiences fall in love with their humor, their humility, their sense of the absurd, and their joy for the game; Fox begs them to become the network’s top baseball broadcasters; Kruk and Kuip tell Fox to go suck an egg.

* More Vlad, please.

* Felipe Alou takes his position as honorary third-base coach in the fifth inning and promptly falls asleep.

* Barry Bonds hits a home run into the cove (and onto Bud’s toupee) after a 15–pitch battle with Haren. The fans refuse to let him go back to the dugout, giving him a 10–minute standing ovation. The rest of the country seethes with anger.

* Final score: NL 6, AL 5.

Other notes: 

* Tyler Walker. He’s rehabbing his elbow from last year’s Tommy John surgery. He started with the single-A San Jose Giants and moved up to the triple-A Fresno team. Do the Giants expect him to make a contribution in the second half? To get him more innings, they temporarily moved him back to the San Jose team so he could pitch during the triple-A All-Star break. To me, that suggests he’s on the fast track to a recall. If so, it means the Giants are willing to trade one of their big-league relievers at the deadline. With Walker’s track record, there’s nothing to suggest that he couldn’t take Hennessey or Correia’s spot and do a similar job. Spare us the fat jokes, please.

* Kevin Goldstein has a mid-year assessment of the Giant farm system. The most prominent descriptor is “weak,” despite some nice words for Nate Schierholtz and Henry Sosa, the skinny kid who threw in Sunday’s Futures Game.

* Weird stat of the first half: Ray Durham leads the team in grounding into double plays (11) and sacrifice flies (7). No one else on the team has more than two sac flies. 
Also on the Network:



[July 10, 2007 4:46 PM]  |  link  |  reply
Anonymous said

mmmm. nice list. fair and complete.

needs more vlad.

[July 10, 2007 7:32 PM]  |  link  |  reply
big O said

Ichiro Suzuki is closing in on a contract
extension with the Seattle Mariners.
Ichiro's agent Tony Attanasio, says today he is still in talks
with the Mariners but nothing is ready to be announced.
The Seattle Times reported this afternoon that the Mariners and
Ichiro were close on a contract that would pay the seven-time
All-Star 100 (m) million dollars over the next five seasons. Ichiro
is currently in the final year of a 41 (m) million dollar, four
year contract.
During spring training, Ichiro said he planned to test his value
on the free agent market. But the Mariners are 49-and-36 at the
All-Star break and are just two-and-a-half games behind the L-A
Angels in the American League West.
Suzuki is hitting .359, with 61 runs, 128 hits, 39 R-B-Is, and
23 stolen bases in 25 attempts.

[July 11, 2007 12:05 AM]  |  link  |  reply
tk said

So the big question and let me just ask it first is: WHERE WAS PUJOLS?

[July 11, 2007 12:14 AM]  |  link  |  reply
BawLa said

One thing I really noticed with this ASB is that there are not too many guys man enough to hit well in our park.

Funny that the biggest star of 'em all was Ichiro, who I've mentioned was a great option to be our next superstar. But alas, it seems as though Ichiro is about to be locked up for 5 years @ $100M. I wish the buyer was us.

[July 11, 2007 1:24 AM]  |  link  |  reply
Cyrus said

At 3 years and 15 per, I would have said yes. At 5 years and 20 per, for an aging player who arguably relies on his legs more than any other? No.

The quick fix is simply not there in the FA market. The only thing close would be A-Rod, and really, replace Bonds with A-Rod and is this team radically different? No. Unless the Giants somehow move Roberts, Winn, and Morris before the trade deadline to shed 25M of salary then it's not going to happen anyways.

[July 11, 2007 5:26 AM]  |  link  |  reply
BigMerv said

According to the Chron Sabean will be back next year and he is going to make the team younger - Apparently the Willies Mays & McCovey have been offered 3 yr contracts. Still better options than Roberts and Aurillia