A spring record of a few wins and piles of ugly losses; weird injuries; the worst batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging percentage in the Cactus League; Barry Zito’s new delivery; an ad campaign devised with the help of Bruce Jenkins.
I need a break. How about here?
I love the desert in the spring. Wait a second. Desert. Spring. Cactuses. Cactus League. Royals 16, Giants 5.
Better stay away. How about here?
Lovely town, Wellington. No finer spot when it’s a cracker ferra waddle, ey? But I hear that accent and — Kiwis forgive me — I can’t help think of Aussie Damian Moss, who came to the Giants with Merkin Valdez, who is pitching well this spring after missing last year to surgery, perhaps well enough to make the team, which of course means he’s going to be released or traded so that Steve Kline has a roster spot.
Trouble and bother! What better place to clear the mind than Hawaii?
Big Island, brah, where geckos chill on the banana tree and don’t try to sell haoles no car insurance. Ah, Hawaii, home of Jerome Williams, who just a few short years ago was part of a pitching trio that was going to lead the Giants to Valhalla. It seems like he went from can’t-miss to can’t-find-him in the blink of an eye. That’s what happens when you stake your hopes on young pitchers, just like…
Sigh. I think I’ll just go to the roof with my martini and watch the sunset. The floor is open: When the Giants got you down, what’s your favorite way to escape?
