Oh Bruce Bochy, you sly man. I see what you're doing. Clever lad, but naughty, naughty for trying to fool us. Before I reveal to the world your scheme, I will lay it out, plot point by plot point, like Hercule Poirot twirling his moustaches before a rapt audience assembled in the old manor library.
First, you realize that this could be your last year as a manager. Your contract runs out after 2009, and more teams are moving toward a new generation of skippers. You think, hmm, I am not ready to retire. You have recently read George Lakoff, so you decide to reframe the debate. You think, what is the biggest knock against me?
Answer: Unwarranted veteran loyalty.
Then you survey the team you now run and you think we are getting younger, but Bon dieu! this is not my youth movement. This is Brian Sabean's. If we win, or at least do better than expected this year, I will not get the credit. No one will say, "Ah, but look, Bochy has changed his ways! He is now friend and wise counsel to the inexperienced!"
And if the youth movement results in another 90 or, God forbid, 100-loss season, the merde lands in your driveway anyway. Happy shoveling.
As you say in America, this is a lose-lose situation.
So you say to yourself, what I need is a hedge. And that hedge will be Rich Aurilia. Among the fan base, he is much beloved. He still has some skills when healthy, such as mashing left-handed pitching. You maneuver to bring him back on a minor-league contract. If he makes the team and does well as a grizzled savvy right-handed bench bat and utility infielder, you look great.
But this is not enough. You raise the spectre that the old Bochy will not go quietly. You say to the beat reporters (or what's left of them these days) that Aurilia might play more at first base than everyone expects. "Richie is probably going to be out there, and that includes against some right-handers."
You smile to yourself as the comment produces groans and grumbling and hand-wringing. Here we go again, same old Bochy, says the Lunatic Fringe.
Then, and this is the brilliant part, once the season starts you defy those expectations and only play Aurilia when absolutely necessary, thus making everyone think, Oh, that old Boch-dog, he has learned new tricks! He can let the kids play! In fact, he has a new spring in his step himself! Perhaps he will manage for another 10 years!
Only an oversized brain like yours could concoct such a brilliant, convoluted scheme. I look forward to your next Jedi mind-trick: Eugenio Velez, Late-Inning Defensive Replacement.
