Barry Bonds has to spend a month locked in his house for all the no good, very bad things he's done the past decade and a half. I'm so beyond it. In fact, I was so beyond it a decade and a half ago. The steroid hoohah was horseshit because performance enhancing drugs, called amphetamines (or "greenies" if you're feeling nostalgic) were until a few years ago readily available in baseball clubhouses. Here's something I wrote a few years ago:
Barry was probably ingesting all sorts of shit you wouldn't want your kids or even your Clydesdale to take; yes, it was illegal in a, well, legal sense, but ahem, cough, not necessarily in a baseball sense, and if you want to call that cheating, it's hard to argue otherwise.
But here's the part where I grab you by the lapels: if Johnny Bench, Willie Mays, Mickey Mantle, Reggie Jax, Rollie Fingers or some other legend admitted today that he wouldn't have performed as well as he did without "greenies" -- the illegal-without-a-prescription amphetamines freely available in big-league clubhouses for many years -- would you argue that his records, his individual and team achievements, should be asterisked, invalidated, and his plaque removed from the Hall of Fame?
Don't say, "Well, until it's proven, it's only theoretical." Because you can be sure that someone somewhere in the Hall of Fame or in the record book got a nice lift more than once on a criminally muggy August night in Philly or Hotlanta when the old back or leg or elbow was barking like a bloodhound. And really, what's the difference between what Bonds did and a couple greenies twice a week to extend a hitting streak or Cy Young season or 3,000-hit chase?
So investigate away, but don't expect to emerge from it with asterisks blazing. Indeed, let's get the truth out: who was doing it, who was supplying it, and who was letting it happen. There may not be criminal charges to file or record books to amend, but better to know the truth. And if George Mitchell doesn't blow the whistle on Selig and whoever else was playing ostrich while the big bucks flowed in, please feel free to wrinkle your nose at the unmistakable smell of skunk.
The Mitchell Report. How quaint! I realize Bonds' punishment today is about lying to grand juries, which is definitely a bad thing to do. But having to spend extra quality time with his home theater equipment is about as slappish-on-the-wrist as you can get. (Even with the two years probation, 250 hours of community service and $4,100 fine.)
When Barry's Hall of Fame membership comes up (in 2013, I think), and the BBWAA snubs him like they've snubbed Mark McGwire, I'll trot out the above paragraphs again. No player should be punished for taking PEDs, whether it was in 1965 or 2001, before the owners and stewards of the game who nudge-nudge-wink-wink sanctioned it get theirs first.
