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One Pill Makes You Larger, and Other Tuesday Notes

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- When I think Toronto, I think Keith Richards and Paul McCartney being arrested for drug possession. That's because Richards was busted there for heroin, and I've always assumed McCartney was, too, except I looked it up and it was Japan (and marijuana). And Sweden (marijuana, again), where apparently he was touring with The Wings. Now, the Giants (not a rock band) are trying to sneak into Canada in possession of a Pill.

- The ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all.

- Speaking of Brett Pill, I want him to have a career like this guy did starting in 1999 and ending around 2002, with a little 1994 sprinkled in.

- Tonight is Barry Zito's third start of the season on the road. The first two lasted a combined 6 1/3 innings and involved 18 hits, three walks and 10 runs. He will also start Sunday in Colorado. If one of the two starts is quality, I'll be satisfied.

- Of course Timmy did. I went and wrote this, and in his next start Tim Lincecum was the single-most reason the Giants beat the Braves and convincingly snagged three of four from the NL East leaders.

- Am I going to write something similarly grumpy about Ryan Vogelsong if he gets hosed Wednesday in the Great White North? No, but I'll mentally edge closer to a review of potentially available starters on this summer's trade market.

- 'The Great White North' by the way shouldn't really apply to Toronto, one of the hemisphere's more diverse cities. Did you know that Statistics Canada estimates the majority of the population of Toronto will be "visible minorities" by 2031?

- The San Francisco Giants nearly moved to Toronto in 1976 but at the current rate will not be more than 50% visible minorities in 2031. They took another step back by deport... er, demoting Frankie Pegs Peguero and promoting Brett Pill.

- I'm teasing. Despite the situation duly noted about the Giants' lack of African-American players, I don't ascribe anything intentional to the team's ethnic makeup. 

- With Pill on board, the Giants are down to four outfielders again, unless you consider Pill or Brandon Belt a fifth outfielder. Having witnessed both players' foibles upon the greensward in past seasons, I don't think Bruce Bochy does, even if there's an emergency in which tsunami-crazed zombies devour the flesh of Angel Pagan. This would not happen in Canada, by the way, because Canadians, even the walking undead ones, are totally nice.

- Unless you're in possession of heroin. Still, being arrested by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police doesn't sound nearly as bad as getting collared by the TS-fuckin-A.


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